whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

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Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

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why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

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Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops