how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

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Why didn't the black man drink out of the white water fountain? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

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what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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69

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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Why did the chiocken cross the road? There's no such thing as a chiocken.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops