My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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who smells? •Liam

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Susie has Autism

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What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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Why did the Israeli military stop the helicopter raids to Gaza? They didn't. They continue them until there is nobody left.

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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A pregnant woman is about to deliver. Both she and her husband are very excited about their first child being born. Then, it turn out that their baby has a rare deformation and has no limbs at all. They still love him

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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666

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Flab

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Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

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What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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blind man walks into a . . . .. .

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A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

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Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

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What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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