A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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Mr. Burns sex scandal.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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women

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What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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Penis in a box.

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Mitt Romney for president.

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops