Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and a black person? Ones fun to hit with a baseball bat, and ones a watermelon.

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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A boy walks into a haunted cematery. Zombies eat him.

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Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

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Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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a show horse jumps over a bar

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment were left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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