What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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how many gay men can you fit on a barstool 1

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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women leaving the kitchen

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your house? You could ask a neighbor, or check to see if anything has been missing, or set up a camera. There are actually many ways.

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Compton

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Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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Whats funnier than a jew holding a nickel. Nothing. Jews are cheap.

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Q: Whats so funny about an antijoke? A: nothing

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What did the orphan boy get for his birthday? The extermination of his race.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The road was Catholic, and it couldn't cross itself.

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What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

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Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ram My Penis Into Ram My Penis Into Who? Me.

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What's hard and straight going in, and soft and sticky coming out? chewing gum

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Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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