Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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I was once raped by an Asian... it didnt hurt

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A Horse walks into a Bar The Bartender runs for his life as he is tripping on acid and believes the horse is a sheep. He doesn't like sheep.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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"I love you, you love me" And you didn't just read that; you sang it.

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Blonds are cute and so are u.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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