What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Happiness is just at the end of the road... Just take a look at how long that road is yeah i wouldnt even try

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than finding a jew in your bed. Jake skellern

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops