only in america: does pizza arrive at your house faster than an ambulence do banks leave their doors open and chain their pens to the desks people put their usless junk in the garage and thier expensive cars in the driveway

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? ..It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a giraffe? A genetically unstable animal that dies shortly after birth.

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How do you make lady gaga angry? punch her in the face and throw her off a cliff

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A man calls customer service. A man in India helps him with his problem.

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I'm not here.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on a deserted island when a genie appears and offers each of them one wish. Before making any decisions on what to wish for, the discuss what the smartest choice is. They return to the genie. The brunette wishes to return home, as does the blonde. The redhead wishes to be able to walk again. The genie denies the wish because to walk again she would have to wish for two legs. The genie leaves and the redhead eventually dies of dehydration as she cannot move and the water that she reaches from the ocean contains salt which dehydrates her faster than the water hydrates her.

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A blond and a brunette fall off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Neither. They hit the ground at the exact same time due to the laws of physics

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Whats better than finding a hot girl in your room? nothing

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whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? i don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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8============D PEN1S

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? Lick his dog's penis.

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A man walks into a bar. The other two ducked, and then immediately called an ambulance.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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whats funny? small ginger girls who die there head red, then it turns ginger again

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What Do You Call A Man On Land With No Arms And Legs? Useless

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was lying about the wheels.

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What do you do if Zombies are chasing you and your friend? Trip the friend.

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waiter: can I get you something to drink? customer: I'll have a coke. waiter: is pepsi okay? customer: is monopoly money okay?

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Q:How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two

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Q: What does a blond do with a box of crayons? A: Paints a picture

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Why didn't the boy respond to the text? His phone had run out of charge.

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C'est l'histoire d'un français paumé qui se retrouve sur un site anglais.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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