I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

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What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

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whats worse than your little sster being raped? her being raped by your father.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 new what 6 and 9 were doing.....

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how do you teach a baby to walk? cut of its hands.

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How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels for the loss of their newborn child.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they get married and live happy together for the rest of their lives.

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Three guys are in the desert. They find a lamp, they rub it, and a genie appears. The genie says "I'll grant each of you a wish." So the first guy says "I want to return to my family in my native country." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The second guy says "I want to live in Hollywood, be famous and rich, and have dozens of girls around me." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The third guy says "I want to go to Hawaii." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. So all three guys end up being happy.

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'Knock' 'Knock' Who's there? Open the door and you will find out douche.

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Hitler had the right ideas, wne tupon it the wrong way.

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What did one dolphin say to the other? Nothing. It was dead.

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Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

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Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice carton? She was trying to read the nutrition label and had forgotten her reading glasses.

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What did Lebron James say to Brad Pitt? "What's up, Brad?"

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If Mormonism is true, and Mitt Romney becomes a god, what will that make him? Romniopotent.

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8============D PEN1S

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How many people does it take to eat an apple ? One, unless it is divided into pieces for everyone to enjoy.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just the 1, Blondes aren't any dumber than anyone else. It's a myth.

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A man walks into a restaurant and ordered a soup. Then, he called the waiter and said the soup tasted funny. The waiter said, "so laugh". the man then killed the guy and sips the soup while laughing.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning? You don't.

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why was the guy crying at the bar his house got bombed

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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