How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

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What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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Women's sports.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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