How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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42.

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What did the man from Hiroshima see when he looked up at the sky on August 6th, 1945? Some birds.

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Your mother

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Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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Amputations.

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how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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why did dinosaurs die??? because a giant rock blew them up

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and a black person? Ones fun to hit with a baseball bat, and ones a watermelon.

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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A boy walks into a haunted cematery. Zombies eat him.

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Du bist mein Kampf

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I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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