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How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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