What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Not the World Trade Center.

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Hey, Max!!

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A guy is in Weekends Millionaire. He says: I could use a lifeline. Quizmaster: Which one would you like? Guy: Anyone, I have AIDS

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What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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What's the difference between a baseball player on the Yankees, and one on the Red Sox? One was named Jeff, the other wasn't.

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Why did John scream when he came in to his bedroom? He stepped on a nail

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Canida

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How did the Jews get out of Germany? They didn't..

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How did the dragon get AIDS? He had sex with an HIV positive dragon months prior.

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penis

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Q) Why did Anti-joke start this webpage? A) Probably to make people laugh. and to show some irony in a few common jokes.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

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- Mother, where's my bread? - It's in the living room.

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Who's the cutest girl in the world? Claire Seiter.

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When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A: "E"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a big dick, Lets have sex.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Women Voting

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They give psychiatric patients acting classes in order for them to express and as such heal themselves? Excuse me fucktard! A guy that has deluded himself into believing he is the 11.356th Napoleon does not require further acting classes!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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