dad; were is ur head son; its on my neck duh

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They give psychiatric patients acting classes in order for them to express and as such heal themselves? Excuse me fucktard! A guy that has deluded himself into believing he is the 11.356th Napoleon does not require further acting classes!

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Animal control.

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Yo Momma's So Fat... She tried Weight Watchers, and still gained weight... She hung herself last weekend.

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A blind guy sees a nuclear bomb.... he dies.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

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Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

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Why couldnt i think of an anti-joke? cuz i was too high and a fly distracted me

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Why did the pig fly cuz his wife is a bitch

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What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

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You want to hear a joke? Democract

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

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What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

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"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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