Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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A jew, a catholic and an atheist are in the desert. They see a dusty lamp. They take it and rub it. Once the lamp is clean, they put it back on the sand and kep walking.

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Q: What do starving children in Africa eat? A: Nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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I am not racist, racism is a crime! Crime is for black people.

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Knock, Knock Knock, Knock Knock, Knock No One's home.

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Kah-________-

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Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

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Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

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planking.

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A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigger

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What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

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poop

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why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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