What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

25

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I was once raped by an Asian... it didnt hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What's funnier than 24? A: 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops