whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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A day without sunshine is like night.

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roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

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Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

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223

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

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knock knock whos there? how should I know?

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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Women's rights.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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