Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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Womens' rights.

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

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What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops