why don't you make like a tree. and get out of here

Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

Video Games

why did the chicken cross the road? to give a doctor the cure for cancer but some ass hole ran him over

Period Blood

What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

The Economy

What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

Hitler was Jewish.

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

Help! I'm locked in a anti-joke factory!

A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

Anti jokes.

Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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