What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

Kittens.

roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

Why was johny late to school? He died

So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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