Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

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Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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knock knock, who's there, white, white who, white van, RUN!

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

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what do you call a cat that talks a talking cat

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KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sweats, it is more than the normal amount of sweat.

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Haha

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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What did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? I want to eat you.

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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There are two horses in a stable. They were just talking about the weather and other normal things. Suddenly, the dog ran in. "HELP, HELP!!!" The dog screamed. Farmer Brandy got stuck in the tractor!!! The horses said, "HOLY SHIT........... A TALKING DOG!!!!"

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a man sees a monkey playing the drums at first he thought it waz the guy in the monkey suit that plays the drums but on closer inspection he sees that it is in fact a real monkey on that note he tries to befriend the monkey but the monkey soon tore the man into pieces

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A man walks into a bar. He says ow

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What do you call a row of houses that are all different size? A poorly thought out construction project that has enraged townspeople.

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What's the difference between a zebra and a newspaper? Everything.

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A blind guy sees a nuclear bomb.... he dies.

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Q: What did the casual mathematician discover at the end of his vivid rainbow of dreams (Question mark- key`s screwed) A: Enough dirt to fill 3141592+ treasure chests to the brim.

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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