What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

thumb_up thumb_down +65

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Paul Dylan King!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops