Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

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so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

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What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

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This is a humorous joke, you will laugh.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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Why was the man so unhappy. he died

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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a black guy leaves prison

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A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

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Google Doodles

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Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

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Yeah, totally.

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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