A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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