Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

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A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

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Pickles

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This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What sucks?

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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Three blondes walk into a community college.

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What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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What is the diffrence between a guy and pie? The pie taste like fruit somethimes

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hey.

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What do you call a Mexican man in prison? A prison officer.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Two young men ignoring societies expectations of them and instead choosing to play the sport they enjoy the most.

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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