Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

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Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

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Your mother is so ugly that your father no lomger finds her attractive

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

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Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

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A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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Knock, knock. Come in!

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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Doctor! Doctor! Can I have a second opinion? The Doctor then sits the patient down and tells them from a different perspective that they have terminal Cancer and will be dead by the end of the year.

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Trust me im a doctor but this is pratice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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