why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

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What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

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ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

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Potato

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

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What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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Left. That one direction...

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

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A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

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Nickelback.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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