you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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What do you call someone who is blind and deaf? Dumb.

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Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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Wanna Hear A Joke ? Afgan

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When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

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A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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a show horse jumps over a bar

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Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops