A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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Two Haitians walk into a bar and it collapses

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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what happens when a Texan see's a black guy? he says howdy

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Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

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Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

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Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

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Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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What do you get when you cross corn with more corn? A devestating force that will make you live on a rowboat and perform demeaning puppet shows you will not Even enyoy!!!!

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Pickles

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where do the women go? the womanarium

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I'm Jewish

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops