yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red violets are blue this poem make no sense microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There is a black man and a Mexican standing near the edge of a cliff, the black man turns to the Mexican and says, "We probably shouldn't stand this close to the edge of a cliff" The Mexican agrees and they step away from the cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Steve Jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +15

World peace

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Women"s Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the people get into the pyramid?? They didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange WHO? Knock knock? WHO'S THERE?! Orange Williams. Sorry, I suffer from debilitating OCD.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops