what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

Why do you walk to your bed at night? Beds cant walk.

Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

Anti jokes.

Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

Why do people play video games? Because audio games are not as fun.

what does trondifly mean? trondify is not a real word.

What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

how do you upset a barber? Murder his family

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

brett is a dick

Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

girls are a lot like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

Once upon a time there was a girl who was going out with a boy 2 years older tan her. He was 16 and she was 14. Does it make him a pedo? cause everyone says he is.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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