So a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a beer

You know what's sad about the Special Olympics? Even of you win, your still retarded.

When does 1=17? How many schizophrenics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A blind guy sees a nuclear bomb.... he dies.

Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

Q: Whats funnier than Ryan Vallee? A: The death of your family -RDV

a man walks into a bar, and says "can i get a beer please?" the bartender hands him his beer, and as soon as the man starts to take a drink, the man dies of a massive heart attack because of his unhealthy lifestyle

I used to be an adventurer like you, Until I lost both my arms.

why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

YOU IS DUM

Your moms so fat, she's not skinny

Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... I guess no ones home.

What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

Rob Bell

How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

Kittens.

What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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