What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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Women's sports.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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Billy isn't a homosexual, he just has sex with men. Billy has sex with men, because Billy's in prison.

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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Banana(s)

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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