A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

Your mother is so ugly that your father no lomger finds her attractive

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shih-tzu? Dogs are large and solid objects and therefore cannot be mixed together.

A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

Video Games

What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

What iz stupid? Hibiyav

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff

Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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