A seal walks into a club.

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why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

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Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

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- How do you keep an idiot in suspense? - How? -......

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree it was fit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree it was inside the fridge why did the 6th koala fall out of the tree it was punished for dropping a fridge why did the 7th koala fall out of the tree it committed suicide after framing the 6th koala

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World peace

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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what did one mexican say to the other Hi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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