Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What has two wheels, two arms, and a head? A man in a wheelchair. Why was he in a wheelchair? He stepped on a landmine. A man walks, I'm sorry rolled, into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get if you cross a black man with a sword? A dead black man

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock whos there punctuation

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did he walk the dinosaur He took an arrow to the knee so much the DJ didn't was paper-plates.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Obama enters a KKK meeting Obama: Oh sorry I thought this was the Kentucky Fried Chicken... the font was so small so... as he starts backing off scared... KKK: leader, of course Mr.President, feel free to come again anytime! Moral: Kings Knocking Ketchup is actually a nice place if you not unlike me enjoy ketchup...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happened to the jew? He got shoved in an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock No one answers....

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops