why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

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How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

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What do you cal a thousand black people swimming to Africa with a Jew under each arm? Waterboarding.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

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A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

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Your mother is so ugly that your father no lomger finds her attractive

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shih-tzu? Dogs are large and solid objects and therefore cannot be mixed together.

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

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A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

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A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops