Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

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Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

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I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

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Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

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The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

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Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

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Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

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NEVER

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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Lamborghini mercy, yo chick she so thirsty Swerve, swerve

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I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

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My Girlfriend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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