A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for nothing? black

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Justin Bieber is a talented singer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man, a jew and a racist walk into a bar, The racist proceeds to be a racist

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's a boomerang that never comes back to you? A stick. :/

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two blondes walk into a bar. There is a fat man there, but nobody talks to him

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

thumb_up thumb_down

The phantom menace is the best star wars movie

thumb_up thumb_down

KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a cat that talks a talking cat

thumb_up thumb_down

Haha

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops