Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

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whats worse than fining 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? finding 1 dead baby in 7 trashcans!

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Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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Why did the asian die? he was driving

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what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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Knock knock whos there punctuation

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What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

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What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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Happiness is just at the end of the road... Just take a look at how long that road is yeah i wouldnt even try

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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Your Mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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