A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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Why did the man walk into a bar? I don't know? Ask him. by Burflared

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What was the pirate's favorite letter? Q.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

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how many gay men can you fit on a barstool 1

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What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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Your computer will self - destruct in 5 seconds

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An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

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how do you call a boomerang that does not come back? - a stick

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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