Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Numbers don't have emotion.

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womens rights

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What is brown and sticky?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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