what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

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you know what hurts.... PAIN

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

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nice shorts.

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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