A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +26

2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why is the boy severely mentally scarred? He got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call all of the skin around the vagina? a women

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

thumb_up thumb_down +24

josh roberts you speccy cuunt

thumb_up thumb_down +24

There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +24

25

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops