How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

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Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

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Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

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Sup homie G. Shutup you are not black.

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Oh. So his name's Brandon.

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Women"s Rights

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A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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shut up

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

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How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

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What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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