If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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Women's sports.

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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Billy isn't a homosexual, he just has sex with men. Billy has sex with men, because Billy's in prison.

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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