My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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Women's rights.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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The Holocaust

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

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What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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