how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society

What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

what do you get when you cross a pig with a bunny? Nothing.Crossing a pig with a bunny is impossible.

What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

When I was at the beach digging in the sand I looked down and someone said nehow

what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

What do you call a black man driving a car? A driver.

What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

What iz stupid? Hibiyav

Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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