your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

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Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

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whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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