I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

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Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

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Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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Penis!

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Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

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What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

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What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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