What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How did the blond die? Substance abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

thumb_up thumb_down +31

ROSS G IS OBESE

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call 10 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call 1000 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call the population of black people on the moon? A huge problem

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops