Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a serious alcohol problem that gave him violent tendencies.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

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What di the wrecking ball say to the house? Duck!!!

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shih-tzu? Dogs are large and solid objects and therefore cannot be mixed together.

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a

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

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Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

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A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

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why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops