If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

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-Knock Knock. -Come in.

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Chuck Norris died.

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

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Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops