Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

My Girlfriend

If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

Lamborghini mercy, yo chick she so thirsty Swerve, swerve

Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

NEVER

What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

Q: What do starving children in Africa eat? A: Nothing

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

Pirate ships are used by pirates.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

What's worse than a dead man?  2 dead men

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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